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Subject:Changing my LIIIIFFEEEE
Time:09:48 am
Haven't posted in a while. No real news arts/crafts/hobby related. Although I did decide that when Trevor outgrows his crib (which is a matching Dinosaur bedset) we are going to do SPACE BEDROOM. Like glow in the dark stars, and rockets, and star trek, and star wars, and aliens and astronauts. I think it'll be super cool.

Also I am resolved to attend the Austin BJD convention this year - it is Renaissance themed! I didn't buy any tickets or register, I'm just going to go to the sales floor on free day. But still! I'm excited.

The only new doll that has caught my eye is this slightly pudgy, slightly ethnic looking oversized head girl:

She's by a company called "Orange Tea Dolls" and her name is "Greek." She hasn't been released yet, I don't remember if her measurments have been posted or not. If she's not too pricey, I may have to get her.

But the real reason I don't have time for internet, dolls, games, or hobbies - changing my life:Collapse )
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Subject:Last baby update, then back to mostly craft updates.
Time:10:49 am
You know what's been hard recently? sitting still. I have to sit still to feed baby and to pump, and during that time I tend to come up with new projects to do, but since I have to sit still so often, I can't get to any of them, and that's annoying.

I want to repaint Danny, my Bluefairy Patrick, and I'm thinking of either painting or selling my Alieendoll Dragon Rot. I have a ton of stuff to list on ebay, and I want to diy a backsplash in my kitchen, and I'm working on Trevor's halloween costume. ssiiiggghhhhhhhhh oh and I want to make myself a new wallet to match my new purse.

the final installment of my birthing storyCollapse )
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Subject:Just kidding, almost done
Time:05:30 pm
Adding a few details that I forgot to mention in the previous posts.

- A few hours after I had been hooked up to my epidural, I looked over and saw that Jason was real sad looking. When I asked him what was wrong, he said Nancy had just texted him; his grandma had just died.

- Epidurals make you itchy. The eight or 12 hours or so after Trevor was born, I was itchy, but it wasn't too bad.

- The first time I saw myself without my hospital gown in the mirror, I said to Jason "I look deflated" and he said, "that's an appropriate description".

- The only other hospital visitors I had were Sheena, Debbie and Joey. None of Jason's family came to see me in the hospital, but that's OK since kids aren't allowed back anyway. They visited that Saturday or Sunday.


Ok, back to where I left off.Collapse )
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Subject:Nearly done with my continues
Time:01:13 pm
I expect to finish up in the next two posts.

I also really appreciate that people are giving me some feedback on my posts - I didn't think anyone would be interested in reading about potentially gross/scary birthing stuff, but it's nice to feel like I can work through my thoughts with ya'll.

I'll start this post with good stuff.
This girl at work asked me how I felt when I saw Trevor for the first time - and it was mostly confusion and disbelif. He looked too big to have come out of me. And he didn't look like a newborn - lots of hair and all my visitors commented on how nice his complextion was.

Hospital food was actuall pretty good - I was super excited that I was served iced tea with every meal, and coffee with breakfast.  The first day was 'liquid only' which meant I could have jello and soup and juice.  The other meals i had oatmeal and eggs and toast and baked fish and vegetable lasagna and just a whole bunch of stuff that I liked.

Mom, big Mark, Erica, and Zoey were my first visitors - they came about five that first day. Kids under 15 aren't allowed and Lily cried.  Erica took some really nice pictures of us.

The night shift nurse, who was the same for both post-partum nights, was Franchesca, and she was amazing. She was informative, thoughtful, attentive, and friendly.  She always checked on me timely, and brought me the things that the day shift nurses said they'd give me but forgot - like lanolin nipple cream when my nipple started bleeding. We had a conversation about Ink Masters based on my day-of-the-dead purse. At one point Trevor was crying and I didn't know what to do so I buzzed her and she said skin to skin contact calms babies so she undressed him and placed him on my chest and covered us with my hospital gown and he stopped crying right away.   She took me for a walk, she holding my IV and me holding my 'foley' bag (aka pee bag from the catheter) and Jason wheeled Trevor behind us.  It was important that I get up every so often to help release gas.

and the worst part of the whole experienceCollapse )
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Subject:Continuation again
Time:04:23 pm
When we last left off, I had been moved to the operating table and set up for my C-section. I don't know how many nurses were in the room, but after the fact I know that two doctors were there. Jason sat on a stool where I could see him near my head, and the anesthesiologist stood behind my head near my epidural tube so he could manually add more painkillers and other drugs.

The anesthesiologist asked if I felt that, and I said no, and he said good they just pinched you to see if you were numb enough. I started softly singing songs from the Spongebob squarepants movie to try to distract myself, and I looked at Jason, and he was crying. I don't remember the exact order that stuff happened in very good. I remember suddenly feeling real sick and saying "I'm going to throw up" and the doctor instructing Jason to hold a plastic tray by my face. But of course there was nothing in my stomach to throw up, and the anesthesiologist injected more drugs and the sickness passed.

I remember hearing Trevor cry.  I remember a nurse (who I couldn't see) moving Trevor's face where I could see it (I was on my back with my head turned to the side, and his head was moved into my field of vision from behind my head.  He was real close to me and his eyes were closed and he had a little hat. The nurse said "you can give him a kiss" so I kissed his cheek. Then the nurse took him away, and Jason left too.  The offical time Trevor was born was 5:28AM, pretty much 24 hours after I started feeling contractions.

just cuz he's born don't mean it's overCollapse )
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Subject:Continuation
Time:03:23 pm
When we last left off in my recollections from having a baby, I had just received my epidural and was feeling much much better.  It was about 4 or 5 in the afternoon by this point. The nurse checked on me regularly, and soon decided that the epidural had caused my contractions to slow down too much.  She said this was a common side effect, so hooked up Pitocin (sp?) to my IV (which I received in the side of my left wrist shortly before getting my epidural) to speed up my contractions again. I also had a catheter hooked up shortly after receiving the epidural, since I couldn't get up anymore (couldn't lift my leg at all actually).  The other things I was hooked up to was a contraction monitor on my stomach (which moved constantly, then the machine would beep and I'd have to call the nurse to fix it) a heart monitor for baby, also on my stomach, fluid bags going to my IV, and a heart rate/oxygen monitor for me, oh and a blood pressure thing which just stayed on my arm all the time and would inflate randomly.

baby is sleeping pretty good, lots of typing is happening so cutCollapse )
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Subject:Need for Blog
Time:06:54 pm
Ok. I officially have a lil baby boy, and we are alive and well. The whole experience has filled me with many feels, and I think posting about everything that happened is going to be real helpful. So. FYI, the next few posts are likely to be only about having a baby, and not about dolls or cons or anything particularly fun.

A lot of people have said to me 'aren't you glad its over?" referring to being pregnant. Other people told me how much they hated being pregnant, or how the last month of pregnancy was the worst. I completed disagree with these people. The last month of pregnancy was annoying at times, but nothing worse than that. The most obnoxious part was that my stomach got in the way of things, like suddenly I couldn't wash dishes leaning over the sink wasn't going to happen, being able to get out of bed was tough, and I could only give sideways hugs.

The worst was definitly four days starting with my second hospital day. But I'll get to that later.

I had fake contractions the Sunday before babe was born. I woke up at 5am on 8/27/14, his due date, with contractions that kept me awake. I downloaded an app to try to time them, because I didn't want to go to the hospital too soon or if the contractions were fake again. At noon I decided it was hospital time, and by the time we made it to the hospital the contractions were causing me to tear up, so I think we left just in time.

Contractions were a lot different than I expected. I expected, like the name implies, to feel a contracting of my stomach in general, like when you squeeze your abs or sneeze. The doctor described it as the feeling of a belt being tightened. That is not what contractions felt like to me.  The feeling was very low, at my hips.  As they got more intense, with each one I had the urge to just push my entire uppy body away from my hips as much as possible, I just wanted to disconnect from my lower half.

Once I was admitted to the hospital (a pretty quick process), they hooked me up to a bunch of stuff, one to monitor my contractions, and left me alone to labor for an hour.  i image this is to make sure they were real contractions. By the time they came back, I was hollering and crying out with each one and writhing on the bed. I had dialated to a five by the time I got the epidural.  The dr that hooked me to the epidural was very nice. Getting the epidural was a strange and scary experience.   I could feel a clinking in my back, and they warned me that I had to remain completely still or I'd risk him hitting a nerve.  When I was hooked up and they laid me down, the nurse says "how do you feel?" and I said "ok i guess" and she said "well, you've already had two more contractions" and I was like REALLY?! and was infinitely happier to know I didn't have to feel that pain anymore.

Time to feed Trevor now. to be continued.
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Subject:So Stress, Much Frustrate
Time:06:12 pm
So yesterday Jason says "hey, the PAX south website is up. Badges aren't available yet though." So I'm like OK. Then this mornig, I'm thinking about that, and I go look at the website.  I notice that PAX recommends following thier twitter account for the latest updates and I think "I guess I'll sign up for a twitter account today so I can be ready when badges happen."  At lunch, I sign up for twitter, and type in PAX and THE VERY FIRST TWEET is from 13 minutes prior and says 3 DAY PASSES SOLD OUT and I'm like OH SNAP WUT. So then I go over to the main computer to jump in the line to buy badges and jump in the snag some hotel rooms and my lunch winds up being 2 hours long and Jason and I hadn't discussed what days we'd be going or anything and I'm like UGGHHH MY LIFE.

I'm sure it wouldn't have been so stressful if my workweek hadn't already been too stressful. But still. Was not ready to buy PAX South stuff today.

I only grabbed passes for saturday and sunday. I figured, friday, if its like Pax Prime, will be super busy and crowded. Plus since it's tax season, I should limit the number of days off I need for this trip. I'm hoping Jason agrees with me. There is no schedule up so I can't tell what all I've passed up by not grabbing friday passes. I do know that friday would cost an extra 60$ for badges, plus an extra $150 for the room, so by skipping friday I save $200.

The hotel room thing was super frustrating. Of course the three closest hotels were sold out by the time I sat down to get a hotel, but the 4th closest happened to be a La Quinta. I happen to be a La Quinta rewards member. PAX didn't have a group code listed anywhere, but instead had a strange website that apparently you had to use if you wanted the group rate. I have enough points as a La Quinta member to have one night for $60. So I tried getting the reservation through the La Qunita website but since I was trying to book 3 nights it was like "you don't have enough points" which was stupid. So i had to use the PAX site and I didn't get to apply my points, and I'm not sure if my stay will earn me any points either >.>  So Frustrating.

I really wanted one of the closer hotels. The La Quinta doesn't look that far on the map. But we'll have to haul a baby around so I'm sure the extra distance will be a nuisance.  I hope baby is good and healthy. I'll be able to cancel my hotel and get my money back if I need to, but the only way to get my money back on the badges is to resell them somehow.  Lol I briefly had a moment, as I sped back to work after buying all this stuff, when I was like 'OH SNAP does baby need a badge??" so as soon as I got to my office I had to search it - no badges required for children under 6.

It'll be so cute if everything works out. Baby's first convention ^_^
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Subject:Woah, LJ looks, like, different
Time:08:59 am
Ummmmm yep this is different. I'm sure I'll find all the buttons I'm looking for eventually. Ahem.  Back to the post I intended to make when I logged in....

I finally sold my minifee body....for $65 less than what I paid. That's a bummer, but oh well. Still lots of other stuff trying to sell.
Being pregnant makes me tired (more on that under the cut), and I just can't even bring myself to take the dolls out of the cabinet anymore. I feel bad, like maybe I should go ahead and put them in their storage boxes to better protect them from dust. I need to rearrange upstairs anyway (also related to baby). I don't have the urge to get rid of any of the dolls. I look forward to having a normal energy level again, but sometimes I worry that I'll never get to play with the dolls like i used to since I'll be a mom >.< Ugh.

I don't have enough energy for sewing projects, but I successfully painted a picture.

Dia de los Muertos Pin-Up 2 by Skyealloway on deviantART

I really like this painting - I was kind of sad to give it to my cousin. Doll people friends might recognize my model, it's an iplehouse doll lol. Painting was a good activity because I can leave and go back to it as often as I needed to, which also worked well because I could come at it with fresh eyes each time. I think that's why this one turned out better - because it took more tries to finish it. I'd like to keep painting. I feel that if I draw/paint pictures closer together, each one gets better, whereas if I take a long break in-between projects, I don't improve. It's hard to pick a subject and be motivated though.

if you want to hear how being pregnant is going...at week 32 nowCollapse )
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Subject:Had a little freak out today
Time:07:08 pm
Ok, so yesterday was awesome. We went up to Amarillo and had a doll meet! It was bittersweet, because I know I won't see those girls again for at least a year - I don't have any time left to do much traveling this late in pregnancy, and then I wont be traveling while recovering after baby is born, and then tax season will happen again. I'm gonna miss those girls.

It was a really nice meet though. Several people I'd never met before were there, for a total of 12 people and 65 dolls!  The four youngest girls were hard to relate to, but the other new girl that was more my age seemed really nice and had a lovely, diverse collection. She's two hours closer to me than everybody else, but I still am uncertain that I'd see her sooner than next year.

This is probably one of my favorite pictures from the meet up
Wanna drag?

It's my dollclans Kien (Kyo) with Sarah's boy (don't remember who he is, but I like the way she has styled him). I can picture these two being neighbors, having a garage band, getting into mild trouble. Kyo is definitely the older boy, so maybe he's the bad influence. He seems to be offering his friend a drag off of his cigarette lol.

The rest of the photos are here:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/43753221@N03/sets/72157625509639009/

So anyway, back to today. Jason gets two weekends off a month. We had planned to do Amarillo yesterday and house cleaning today. That was our plan weeks ago. And by housecleaning, Jason wanted to clean out our storage shed out back. I didn't think it was a problem, but Jason wanted to put more of the things that are in the laundry room into the outside shed. I also didn't think the laundry room was a problem, but Jason said he needed more space to move his stuff around. More on that in a minute. Anyway, so we had plans.  Our plans for next weekend (which was planned a month in advance) was that on Saturday we'd spend time with our friend Amanda, and re-dye my hair. Sunday he's go to Lubbock with his friends to watch Godzilla.

Then two days ago Jason's friends said they wanted to come visit today too. At first I protested, because he keeps putting off doing any work around the house.  Then he reassured me that "he had no problem making his friends stand around while he cleaned out the shed." I should have put my foot down, but I didn't want to seem like a tyrant that wouldn't let him see his friends. So, naturally, when his friends finally left and I had a house full of much much much more nonsense then I liked (in order to spend more time with his friends, "cleaning" the shed became "pile all the shit that was in the shed in the house. And let my friends drag in a bunch of dirt and dog poop while their at it".

Normally, I probably still wouldn't have been that upset about it (upset, yes, but not extremely so). Except the reason Jason was going to clean the shed was because he said he had to clean the laundry room. And the reason he said he had to clean the laundry room is because he needed to move stuff out of our in-house storage area (we have a nook area next to the stairs where we store some boxes of action figures) into the laundry room. And the reason our in-house storage was suddenly not good enough for him is because THREE FUCKING MONTHS AGO I told him to move his stuff out of the spare room so we could turn it into a nursery. Literally, the only things in the spare room, at the time that I asked him to box it up and move it out, was two shelves of comic books, a CD rack full of CDs, and a bunch of random action figures. It could have, and should have, been done in one day. I literally cannot even walk into that room today - instead of moving stuff out, he keeps stacking stuff in! He kept making up excuses to clean other things that aren't important and that weren't a problem at all and he just never gets to the spare room - except to make it worse.

So I lost my mind. My floors were filthy, my house stinks, I have five different stacks of storage bins in my house that weren't there yesterday, I still can't get into the baby's room, we already have plans for next weekend, and he works the two weekends after that. In my head, at the rate he is going, baby was going to be born without a crib. Without me being able to reach his clothes. Or have a place to put his things. That room should be the top priority of the entire house.

Somebody might try to tell me "hey, if its so damn important, why didn't you just take care of it?" Three reasons 1. Its his stuff and I wanted him to store it in the way he liked. If I moved it, he probably wouldn't like how I had done it and I respect that those are his things; 2. Comic books are heavy. Even though comic book storage boxes aren't that big, I can't lift them when they are full. I literally cannot move the comic books; and 3. During tax season, there weren't that many things in the room. Now that tax season has passes and Jason's already messed with a bunch a crap, he piled six giant, overfilled boxes and totes into that room. I can't move them. I can't even get around them. Resetting the router is damn near impossible.

After brief anger followed many many tears and sobs, Jason appears to be skipping dinner (I haven't eaten either, damn it) and skipping sweeping the floor (what the fuck is wrong with your friends that they make the floor so dirty every time they visit?) and he's sifting through things in the spare room. I appreciate that he's trying to make me happy, but he's out of time for today, we need to do other things already. He's being ridiculous and stupid about everything. I should have put my foot down and told him his friends couldn't come today.  It's Mother's Day, god damn it.
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